Five Reasons You Can, and Should, Choose Mediation… Even if You and Your Ex Are Not Getting Along

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  1. Even when the parties are not getting along, mediation is still cheaper than litigation. Separation and divorce are stressful times in a person’s life. If you add the emotional turmoil of arguments, this season in your life is even more stressful. Why have the additional burden of financial stress? Some mediators charge a set fee, so you know how much you will be paying and can budget accordingly. You won’t have the stress of the expense spiraling out of control. Therefore, while you may not be able to control how well you get along with your ex, you can have some control over the financial burden that can accompany separation and divorce.
  2. One recent discovery is that mediation works really well over Zoom. Therefore, if you and your ex choose mediation, you do not have to be in the same room. We are able to accomplish results in real-time without the awkwardness of physically being together.
  3. Mediation can be completed, with a legal separation agreement, in a couple of months, and sometimes in a matter of weeks. If you are not getting along with your ex, and you just want to move on, why drag the process out for years through court?
  4. With mediation, each of you are more likely to heal. There is no “mud-slinging” because, for example, you do not have to prove the other parent as incompetent in order to show yourself as competent. It is not a competition. The best thing for a child is to have a healthy relationship with both parents. “A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up.” (Proverbs 15:1). Why stir up anger?
  5. Mediation is interest-based, not rights-based. With less of a focus on rights or entitlement, anger dissipates, or at least becomes irrelevant. With the focus on one’s interest both parties are able to be heard.

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